Abusive Relationships

Domestic Abuse (Domestic Violence or Intimate Partner Violence, IPV) describes a pattern of behaviors whereby one partner attempts to assert or maintain power and control over the other partner and in doing so creates an atmosphere of fear and confusion for the person living with the abuse.

Abuse is not always physical. There are 8 Forms of abuse; 6 of them non-physical in nature.

The 8 Forms of Abuse (control) are:

1. Physical Abuse: hitting, punching, slapping, pushing, breaking objects, punching walls, harming animals.

2. Sexual Abuse: performing unwanted sexual acts on a partner, coercing, manipulating or ‘guilting’ your partner into having sexual relations, coercing or forcing a partner to engage in demeaning or uncomfortable sexual acts.

3. Emotional Abuse: put-downs, belittling, frequent criticism designed to make the partner question themselves or feel ‘less than’ capable, making threats, using anger to emotionally bash partner.

 [Psychological Abuse is a subset of Emotional Abuse. It involves ‘Crazy Making’ behaviour.

It is where the abuser says one thing one day, and a completely different thing the next. He or she re-writes history.

The person being psychologically abused finds themselves constantly questioning themselves because their memory of the past argument seems to be quite different to their partner’s.

They will feel off-balance and confused.]

4. Verbal Abuse: name-calling, yelling, swearing.

5. Social Abuse: attempting to isolate partner from the support of friends and family by criticising them or questioning their intentions, possessiveness, jealously.

6. Financial Abuse: withholding money from partner, controlling the finances, questioning what the partner spends, gross imbalance between what one partner spends on themselves and what they ‘allow’ their partner to spend on themselves.

7. Spiritual Abuse: putting down or discouraging partner’s faith, misusing scripture to subjugate and control partner.

8. Stalking: monitoring/tracking partner whether literally or via text or social media, turning up at partner’s workplace or social activities when not expected.

Any form of abuse within intimate partner relationships is extremely destructive to the self esteem of the victim as well as to any children living in the household.

Love cannot flourish where control is present.

If you are concerned that you may be living in an abusive relationship, please call Deborah Sanasi on 0416 166 501 to make an initial appointment.

Or please call 000 if you are at risk of immediate harm.