Counselling Hills and valleys are inevitable in life. It appears that if you are breathing you are going to experience both good and bad times.

Success in business is wonderful, but any of us who have been around long enough know that things can change very quickly. All it takes is for our biggest client to go elsewhere, or the Government to make a change that affects our industry – and our joy can very quickly turn into mourning.

One bad report from a medical specialist, one bad decision from our spouse, one random accident can change everything.

As a Therapist and Counsellor I have supported many people who have been going through very difficult situations, but I have observed those who come through ok have 3 things in common:

1. They reach out.

People who overcome the valleys realise that the saying, ‘No man is an island’ is actually true.

There are many reasons why many of us tend to NOT reach out when struggling. Maybe people have let you down in the past; maybe people have judged you or given terrible advice. Or maybe you are used to being self reliant.

However, finding people who can be strong for you when you aren’t is very important.

When a person breaks a limb, the plaster supports and protects the bone as it heals. When a building has a structural crack the scaffolding supports the structure until the repair work is finished and the building can stand on its own again.

Same for people.

There’s no shame in gaining support through difficulties. It will actually help you get through things a lot quicker, providing you get the right help.

2.They allow themselves to be human.

What does that mean? Simply put, they allow themselves to feel their feelings.

As human beings we are all unique in terms of our personalities and appearance. But we have much in common when it comes to how we respond to things, especially emotionally.

For example, laughter is a normal and natural response to feeling happy. Crying and feeling sad is a normal and natural response to loss. Anger is a normal and natural response to violation or perceived injustice. Fear is a normal and natural response to perceived threat.

SO when it comes to moving through the valleys, those that are able to get to the other side learn how to express their natural emotional responses in safe and healthy ways. They don’t suppress and avoid their hurts. They find healthy, constructive ways to face and overcome them.

3.They understand that every valley has a mountain on either side. 

As overwhelming as life can feel sometimes, people who overcome know that ‘this too shall pass’.

So the moral of the story is, if you are in the valley right now I encourage you to do number one and number two with a number three attitude. You may even find it helpful to access Counselling – Hills and valleys are inevitable in life, but not permanent.